tintu: a dog chase me
Mother : where is the goods that you bought ?
Tintu :I throw that all to the dog But….
Mother:why dont you throw a stone to it
tintu:Yes I have thown a stone….
Mother: when ? after that what happen ?
Tintu: when I throw the stone The dog was Sleeping and After that the dog chased Me…
I have done nothing after that
Sun 20 Jun 2010
MASTER: Now that you have earned enough money working under me i suggest you to start your own business
SUPPANDI:Yes Master!I have been thinking of it lately.
MASTER: Oh!Is it?! What kind of business did u plan?
SUPPANDI:I am planning to start a saloon in PUNJAB!!!!!
`
Suppandi’s master was a small time business man. He had told Suppandi to always try to earn a profit.
Master: Suppandi, I am expecting a washing machine from London Stores. Go and give this Rs.50 note to the shopkeeper and get the machine.
On the way back from the store, a man met Suppandi.
Man: How much did you buy that machine for?
Suppandi: Rs.50
Man: I will give you Rs.90 for it.
Suppandi thought that he was making a profit and sold it and reached home.
Master: Where is the machine? Suppandi: I sold it off on the way for Rs.90, a clear profit of Rs.40.
Master: You fool, that machine was worth Rs.9000. I was paying for it in installments.
Master: Your Fired!!!
`
Suppandi’s new master was the owner of a departmental store.
Master: Suppandi, before giving the clothes to the customers always open it and check it for defects.
That evening- Customer: One film roll please.
Master: Suppandi, what do you think you are doing? Why have you opened the film roll?
Suppandi: I was checking it for defects, master.
`
Suppandi’s master was going out.
Master: Suppandi , keep an eye on the dog.
Suppandi: Yes master, but..
Master: But What?
Suppandi: What do I do with the other eye??
`
Master: Go to the market and get a mirror so that i can see my face and shave!!
Suppandi: Yes master!!
Goes to the market and returns home without a mirror.
Master: Why didn’t you get a mirror?
Suppandi: Because in all the mirrors i could see only my face!!
`
Master: Suppandi, one of my shoes is torn, I’ll get another one from the market.
Suppandi: But you still have the other shoe master.
Master: Don’t be funny Suppandi, what good is one shoe without the other.Then one day…
Master: Suppandi, here take these two Rs.500 notes and go get 10 tube lights.
Suppandi: Yes master.
Master: Suppandi you are back so soon, where are the tube lights?
Suppandi: When I was going, one of the notes slipped from my hand and fell into the sewer, what good is the other note without the pair? So I threw that also into the sewer.
Fri 5 Feb 2010
If your father is a poor man,
It is your fate but,
If your father-in-law is a poor man,
it’s your stupidity.
`
I was born intelligent – Education ruined me.
`
Practice makes perfect…..
But nobody’s perfect……
So why practice?
`
If it’s true that we are here to help others,
Then what exactly are the others here for?
`
Since light travels faster than sound,
People appear bright until you hear them speak.
`
How come “abbreviated” is such a long word?
`
Money is not everything.
There’s Mastercard & Visa.
`
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
`
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
`
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in Life.
`
The wise never marry.
And when they marry they become otherwise.
`
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
`
Never put off the work till tomorrow
What you can put off today.
`
“Your future depends on your dreams” So go to sleep
`
There should be a better way to start a day Than waking up every morning
`
“Hard work never killed anybody”
But why take the risk
`
“Work fascinates me”
I can look at it for hours
`
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
`
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. Why learn.
`
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station….
What more can I say……..
It is your fate but,
If your father-in-law is a poor man,
it’s your stupidity.
`
I was born intelligent – Education ruined me.
`
Practice makes perfect…..
But nobody’s perfect……
So why practice?
`
If it’s true that we are here to help others,
Then what exactly are the others here for?
`
Since light travels faster than sound,
People appear bright until you hear them speak.
`
How come “abbreviated” is such a long word?
`
Money is not everything.
There’s Mastercard & Visa.
`
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
`
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
`
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in Life.
`
The wise never marry.
And when they marry they become otherwise.
`
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
`
Never put off the work till tomorrow
What you can put off today.
`
“Your future depends on your dreams” So go to sleep
`
There should be a better way to start a day Than waking up every morning
`
“Hard work never killed anybody”
But why take the risk
`
“Work fascinates me”
I can look at it for hours
`
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
`
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. Why learn.
`
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station….
What more can I say……..
Thu 19 Nov 2009
WHERE DID “LOVE” BORN ?
Guess,
think….
Simple in CHINA !
because it has no warranty & No guarantee…
Mon 2 Nov 2009
Hi today is topup day,so topup my no if you are one of the following type of friend:
Rs10=just frnd
Rs30=nice frnd
Rs50=sweet frd
Rs121=cute frd
Rs301=gud frd
Rs501=caring frd
Rs1001=best frd (God)
This is a chance to prove ur Friendship…
Hurry up..
Rs10=just frnd
Rs30=nice frnd
Rs50=sweet frd
Rs121=cute frd
Rs301=gud frd
Rs501=caring frd
Rs1001=best frd (God)
This is a chance to prove ur Friendship…
Hurry up..
Wed 12 Aug 2009
Dear friends ,
I am posting some jokes… please enjoy…have a big smile and if possible free laugh…(very rare!!!).
Laloo at Bar
At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo’s left tells the bartender, “JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE.”
And the man’s companion says, “JACK DANIELS, SINGLE.” The bartender approaches Lalooand asks, “AND YOU, SIR?”
Laloo replies: “LALOO YADAV, MARRIED.”
Laloo as Model
After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modelling.Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo.
Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION !! Laloo, third from left!
Laloo’s Clock
Rabri Devi died and went to heaven (Don’t Laugh). As she stood in front of yamraj , she saw a huge wall of clocks behind.
She asked, “What are all those clocks?”
Yamraj answered, “Those are lie Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a LieClock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.
” “Oh,” said Rabri, “Who’s clock is that?”
That’s Gautam Buddha’s. The hands have never moved indicating that he never told a lie.”And whose clock is that?”
That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his entire life.”
Rabri asked, “Where’s my Laloo’s clock?”
“Laloo’s clock is in my office”, replied yamraj, “I’m using it as a ceiling fan.
Wait or Weight
Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo “WAIT PLEASE” for which Laloo replied “65Kgs” and moved on…
Laloo’s Family Planning Policy
Laloos family planning policy..”DONT HAVE MORE THAN TWO CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR”
I am posting some jokes… please enjoy…have a big smile and if possible free laugh…(very rare!!!).
Laloo at Bar
At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo’s left tells the bartender, “JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE.”
And the man’s companion says, “JACK DANIELS, SINGLE.” The bartender approaches Lalooand asks, “AND YOU, SIR?”
Laloo replies: “LALOO YADAV, MARRIED.”
Laloo as Model
After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modelling.Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo.
Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION !! Laloo, third from left!
Laloo’s Clock
Rabri Devi died and went to heaven (Don’t Laugh). As she stood in front of yamraj , she saw a huge wall of clocks behind.
She asked, “What are all those clocks?”
Yamraj answered, “Those are lie Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a LieClock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.
” “Oh,” said Rabri, “Who’s clock is that?”
That’s Gautam Buddha’s. The hands have never moved indicating that he never told a lie.”And whose clock is that?”
That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his entire life.”
Rabri asked, “Where’s my Laloo’s clock?”
“Laloo’s clock is in my office”, replied yamraj, “I’m using it as a ceiling fan.
Wait or Weight
Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo “WAIT PLEASE” for which Laloo replied “65Kgs” and moved on…
Laloo’s Family Planning Policy
Laloos family planning policy..”DONT HAVE MORE THAN TWO CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR”
Mon 3 Aug 2009
MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you’ve just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!
****
WHILE IN A DRUG STORE
Mr. Bean: I’d like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn’t know the alphabet yet!!
****
QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE
Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks!
****
Friend: how many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16
Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.
****
CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND
Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it’s a horror film.I didn’t see any picture.
Friend: What tape did you took anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.
****
Mr. Bean: (crying) the doctor called, Mom’s dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
After 2 minutes Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend: what now?
Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!
****
MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING
Colleague: Sorry I’m late. I got stock in an elevator for 4 hrs. because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean: Thats alright, me too…I got stock on the escalator for 3 hrs.
****
Spelling lesson
Mr. Bean’s Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful….is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!
